


тhird σf гegrets

by Laeana



Series: ⑩ ωαүs тσ ∂ιε [8]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Character Death, Character Study, Diary/Journal, Drunkenness, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, Late at Night, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:07:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27085345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana
Summary: If only he knew what was love, he would probably have loved him.
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Series: ⑩ ωαүs тσ ∂ιε [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1934587
Kudos: 9





	тhird σf гegrets

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [тomorrow ηever ςame](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23030593) by [Laeana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana). 



ɪғ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ

* * *

**③**

Carlos does not know, will not and probably never will know what love is.

It's not a classic dysfunction or that he's stuck with his own feelings. No, he himself doesn't know why. He considers that if he could have loved anyone even a little right, it would have been Lando. Because they've been great friends, because he's felt more than he ever felt with anyone. Progress in itself. An idea of deeper affection, to a point where he can see things differently.

He is so sorry that he cannot properly return his love to the younger one. One thing leads to another. And he threw himself off a roof. He figured if he knew what love was, his heart would probably be torn to pieces by now. That he would mourn this loss to the point of not wanting to go out, to be devastated as Daniel is now but he does not know ... he just ... what is love ?

* * *

**②**

He retraced Lando's last evenings. And it could have been a terrible idea, but he needed to see it from a different perspective and, strangely enough, it didn't go well. He didn't understand why all of a sudden he was in pain. Why was he feeling this deep distress? Yet he is sure he has nothing to lose, but he can hardly take it anymore.

So he drinks, he drinks, forgetting his own name, trying to forget what he has discovered and how his best friend's death means too much and how it is not fair that it is happening now. He drinks without worrying about the consequences, of the fact that he is in this alley, much too late or early depending on the person, and of the fact the man in front of him is holding a shining shard in his hand.

* * *

**①**

And there, lying on the ground, in the cold, eyes riveted on the stars, losing his last strength, he suffers to the point where furrows slowly form in his eyes. But his heart hurts, his heart hurts, and maybe he's starting to understand. Is- Is this love?


End file.
